Teddy, The Annoying Ghost
by Miss Words
Summary: Teddy's back, and this time with a NEW purpose in mind, and hes not leaving till the job is entirely done. Spoilers for 'The Hero in the Hold.' Please comment. T for languege. BxB and some Parker. 16 is UP: 16/17 REVEIW!
1. Teddy?

**Teddy, the Annoying Ghost.**

Description- Teddy's back, and this time with a NEW purpose in mind, and hes not leaving till the job is entirely done. Spoilers for 'The Hero in the Hold.'

**Disclaimer**. I dont own Bones, and if i did, Brennan and Booth would be, like, married, right about now, lol. I only own my plotlines and charecters.

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_MEEEEEEEP!_

Booth's alarm clock rang in his ear at 6 A.M on Saturaday, and he was sure as hell not ready to get up. He tossed over, slammed his fist on his alarm clock, and tossed back over.

"You know, Sarge, you really should wake up. Early bird catches the worm.."

At that statement, Booth's eyes shot open, and he jumped right out of his bed. He landed with a thud, and a slight '_Dammit!_' under his breath.

"Good God, Teddy! Why the hell are you on my bed at 6 in the morning? You are supposed to be dead, remember? You are supposed to be resting in peace"  
Booth massaged the hip he had fallen on and glared at the 20 year old ghost.

"Sorry, Sarge. Didn't mean to scare you, its just, the Big Guy in the sky won't let me in until I fufill my life on Earth." Booth glared at him again and crawled back in his bed.

"What the hell are you talking about 'fufill your life on Earth?' Your dead. Your time is up!" Teddy shook his head.

"No Sarge, my time wasn't up. I wasn't supposed to die." Booth raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? You weren't supposed to die?" Teddy shook his head.

"No. I was supposed to die of Lymphatic Cancer in 2037."

"How would you know that?" Booth raised an eyebrow at him.

"I've been to heaven. I'm a Catholic too, remember? I talked to the Big Guy, but he said I had to 'Fufill Life on Earth.' Easy task, complicated to understand. So thats why I'm here, on your bed, at 6 in the morning."

Booth began to think he was hallucinating, so he lay down again.

"Alright Teddy, you do that, but I think your a hallucination. I was up late last night and am lacking sleep, so I am going to catch some more Z's."

"Who were you up late with Sarge? That lady-partner you mentioned on the ship?"

"Yes, I was up with.." But before he could finish, Teddy grinned.

"Way to_ go_, Sarge!" Teddy punched him in the shoulder. Booth rolled his eyes.

"No, not like _that_, Teddy. We were working on a case."

"Of love??" Teddy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Teddy! That's enough Bones and I are just partners!"

"You call your lady-partner '_Bones_'? How come?" Teddy looked at Booth funny.

"She's a forensic anthropologist, so I respectively call her Bones." Booth glaced at his alarm clock. 6:15. Damn. He needed his sleep.

"Teddy?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I'm going back to sleep. I need my rest, and then you can bother me some more. Kay?"

"Yes, Sarge. Night. Uh? Mornin'." Teddy flicked his hand and walked out of the room Booth lay down and pulled the covers over his body and drifted into sleep.

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**A/N-** Sound promising? more to come. I swear. :) I thik its a fun topic to write on.

**Click the magic comment button, please.**

merci:)  
au revouir


	2. Goodness!

Teddy, the Annoying Ghost.

Description- Teddy's back, and this time with a NEW purpose in mind, and hes not leaving till the job is entirely done. Spoilers for 'The Hero in the Hold.'

Disclaimer. I dont own Bones, and if i did, Brennan and Booth would be, like, married, right about now, lol. I only own my plotlines and charecters.

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At 9:15, Booth woke back up, and sat up, looking for any sign of Teddy. He got up,  
checked the closets and under his bed, like a little kid searching out that damned monster. No Teddy.

"Okay, It was a dream." Booth let out a heavy breath-out.

"What was a dream, Sarge?" The voice directly behind him caused him to jump and yelp.

"Teddy! Where the hell did you come from?" Booth turned around to face him.

"I just kind of 'popped in', no pun intended, when I heard you get up." Teddy said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well, next time, don't try to scare the living shit out of me. You've done it twice already." Booth shot the ghost a disproving look. At that, Brennan walked in.

"BONES! What the hell are you doing here?" Booth looked down, realizing he was nude, and pulled a throw off his bed and wrapped it around himself.

"Well, you weren't answering your phone, and then I heard you talking to someone, so I figured I'd see what was going on. Who were you taking to, anyway? There is no one here."

"I was, uh, on my phone.." Teddy snickered.

"Booth, I know you weren't on your phone." She crossed your arms.

"And how would you know that?"

"You phone is on the kitchen counter. I passed it when I walked in. Now, Booth, who were you talking to?" Booth swallowed his spit.

"I was talking to Teddy." Booth hung his head in defeat as Teddy cracked up in the left corner, completely invisible to Brennan.

"Teddy? As in Teddy the Friendly Ghost Teddy." She gave him a look that read 'Are you serious?'

"Try Teddy the annoying ghost..." Booth muttered under his breath. Brennan placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Booth, don't take this the wrong way, but the think that the experience on that ship has traumitized you just a little bit. You know I don't beleive in psychology, but I think you need to see Sweets a few times this week. I care about you, Booth, and I don't want you thinking Teddy is still haunting you."

"Awww, She cares about you Sarge!"

"Shut up!" Booth yelled. Brennan glared at Booth.

"Excuse me? I was offering advice. If you wanna be tormented mentally, thats just fine!"

"Not you Bones, Teddy."

"Booth. Teddy is not here. Its just me and you. NO one else."

"OK, Bones, ok." He took a deep breath.

"Will you promise me you'll go to Sweets today?" She looked at him with her beautiful blue eyes, which were filled with concern. He just couldn't say no to her.

"Yes, Bones, I promise." And with that, she hugged him tightly.

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Booth." She said, still not breaking the embrace.

"Through what, Bones?"

"The war, losing Teddy, and then being on that damned ship." She squeezed him tighter.  
Teddy gave a slight 'Aw!' and from over Brennan's shoulder, Booth glared at him while he laughed. Teddy was eating this up.

"I'll see you at the Jeffersonian at 10. Don't be late, we have work to do." She finally released him and patted his back.

"I'll be there." He waved at her as she left his room.

"Hey Sarge! Guess what?!"

"What?" Booth headed to his closet.

"I figured out why I'm still here!" He began to bounce on his toes.

"And why is that?" Booth grabbed a pair of pants and a button-down shirt and began dressing.

"To get you and your partner together." Teddy smiled.

Booth's mouth went dry.

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A/N- C.2. I am starting to think of Sweet's reaction. That should be interesting.

Click the pretty comment button below please.

merci!  
au revoiur. 


	3. Feild Day

Teddy, the Annoying Ghost Feild Day:

A/N- To wldct6, you gave me the perfect idea for a chapter name, when you said "..Sweets will have a feild day with this one." Thanks so much!

Description- Teddy's back, and this time with a NEW purpose in mind, and hes not leaving till the job is entirely done. Spoilers for 'The Hero in the Hold.'

Disclaimer. I dont own Bones, and if i did, Brennan and Booth would be, like, married, right about now, lol. I only own my plotlines and charecters.

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Booth walked into Sweets' office at 11 that morning, just to realize the kid wasn't arriving for another 15 minutes. To avoid Brennan, since he was completely embarrassed by this morning's fiasco, he decided that he would wait it out in Sweets' office.

"So, How exactly to plan on telling your therapist about this situation." Booth jumped to the side a little bit.

"When the hell do you plan to start knocking when you enter a room instead of just randomly popping in at in any damn moment? I am going to die of a fucking cardiac arrest by the time this shit is over." Booth salmmed his hands on the table, causing Teddy to jump.

"No wonder you need a theripist. You have the tounge of a sailor, Sarge." Teddy straightened his uniform.

"I don't give a damn." As he was saying that, Sweets walked in. The young psychologist raised an eyebrow.

"You don't give a damn about what, Agent Booth?" Sweets sat on his desk, grabbing his yellow legal pad and the first pen he could touch.

"Sorry, I was just talking to Teddy." Sweets raised an eyebrow at him.

"Teddy who?" Sweets lokked around the room to make sure it was just him and Booth in the office.

"Teddy Parker. The annoying ghost who has been popping in and out around everywhere and scaring the hell out of me since six this morning!"

"Interesting. Agent Booth, are you saying you are being followed by a random poltergeist?  
Is this Teddy Parker someone you know personally?"

"He's not a poltergeist, he's just Teddy, and yes I new him personally. I went to war with him in '93. He was killed in action." Sweets nodded, and jotted something down on his Legal pad.

"Have you seen the 'ghost' of Teddy before?" Booth nodded.

"Only once, when the gravedigger had me on that ship. But, other than that,  
no." Again, Sweets began writing on his legal pad.

"What does he say to you?" Random secret psychological jab. Sweets congradulated himself for being sneaky and pretending like it was actually a ghost, instead of Booth's subconcious, like it obviously was.

"On the ship or now?"

"He is saying different things? Then tell me both. It will help in the end."

Booth took a deep breath in.

"Well, on the ship, he told me it wasn't my fault he died in action, and then he left. Now, the little bastard is saying that he has a purpose to fufill on Earth before he can rest in peace and go to heaven, and that this little purpose is to get me and Bones together, which is completely ludicrious in itself." Sweets smiled. So, this little "ghost" of Booth's was currently on team 'Get Booth and Brennan together'  
also, huh? He liked this guy. He began to write more notes on his legal pad. Feeling a bit sneaky, and completely determined to win the Jeffersonian prize of 100 bucks to get the two partners together, Sweets decided to take a shot at getting Booth to follow the ghost's purpose. After all, who was going to beleive it took a ghost to get Booth and Brennan together, anyway?

"Why don't you take this 'Teddy's' advice? You realize that when you take it, he will be gone, and will leave you alone. If what you said is true, he won't leave 'til the jobs done.  
I'm sure you'd like the rest, and peace of mind." And the fact that I have totally won that hundred bucks!  
He is so buying this bullshit...

"Are you mental?!" Booth jumped up and yelled, causing Sweets to drop his legal pad. He quickly bent down to pick it up.

"What, Booth? He will not leave until you go out with Dr. Brennan, Booth!" Might as well stick to the original plan..

"Do you honestly beleive she'll date me? I'm positive the feeling's not mutual there!" Sweets eyes shot open,  
he quickly jotted some stuff on his legal pad.

"You have romantic feelings for Dr. Brennan?" Booth raised an eyebrow. Teddy began to snicker..

"Where the hell did you pull that from?" Sweets smirked.

"You said 'I am positive the feeling's not mutual there.' That directly leads me to believe that you have romantic feelings for her, and that you are not going to ask her out because you are afraid she doesn't love you back."

"LOVE?! I do not love Bones. We are just partners." But Sweets was on a mission.

"Do you have sexual fantasys about her? Are you constantly thinking about her?" Teddy had now began to roll around with laughter.

"No and NO! God Damn it! I'm leaving!"

And with that, Booth stormed out of his office, red in the face and completely pissed, being followed by a Teddy in hysterics.

"Shut up, Teddy!" Booth glared at him.

"I like that Dr. Sweets. Good guy, funny as hell."

Booth ignored him, and began to think to himself.

'Am I really in love with Bones?'

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A/N, again! Teehee, I love Sweets. Hope that wasn't TOO OOC, lol.

P.s. in case y'all were wondering, I just made up that whole office bet thing, figured it be something fun to throw in there.

Please comment, and I'll be sure to write quicker. I love hearing what people think and want to see in future chapters.

Oh, and wldct6, thanks agian for the chapter title :D

As always,

Merci!  
Au reviour 


	4. Evil Planning

Teddy, The Annoying Ghost.

Evil Planning

A/N- Muah ha ha. I get tired of the Squints torturing BxB and getting what they want. The tables have turned. Muahhahahaha!

Description- Teddy's back, and this time with a NEW purpose in mind, and hes not leaving till the job is entirely done. Spoilers for 'The Hero in the Hold.'

Disclaimer. I dont own Bones, and if i did, Brennan and Booth would be, like, married, right about now, lol. I only own my plotlines and charecters.

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"Booth!" Brennan broke into a jog to catch up with her obviously pissed partner.

"How'd it go with Sweets?" Booth scowled.

"He's a complete asshole." Brennan's eyebrows shot up.

"Wow, Booth, just wow. What happened?"

"Dumb ass accused me of liking you, which is retarded of him. You even know that your just my socially retarded brilliant partner." That stung. He was being a complete bastard.

"You don't like me? At all?! And I am getting better at understanding regular slang." She folded her arms.

"No, Bones, your my best friend." His tone softened a bit. "He accused me of thinking of you in a sexual way. And, your slang does need some work"  
She popped him in the arm.

"I'll try. Why did he accuse you.. of that? What did you say?"

"I said.. "Do you honestly beleive she'll date me? I'm positive the feeling's not mutual there!" And he immeadeatly went to the whole 'You wanna have sex with her' conclusion, being the dumbass he is."

"What did you mean, 'The feelings not mutual'? And why were you talking about dating me?" She was full of curiousity now. Did he like her in 'that' way?

"Teddy says.." Oh great. Teddy is behind all this. Teddy, Booth's little poltergiest. "..that his purpose is to get us to get together. And he is not leaving until that happens. And its really pissing me off."

Brennan began to fret on that, and, if there was a 'Teddy', she was willing to give the 'dating Booth' thing a shot. She was getting tired of Angela always catching her staring at him when he's in those tight teeshirts, and everyone always pairing them up. No more 'Good Doctor'; its 'Bad Doctor' time.

After a deep breath in, She was ready.

"I have an idea. I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick of this whole 'lets pair Booth and Bren up' bull. And I'm sure 'Teddy' wants to go to heaven right"  
Booth cut her off.  
"Where are you going with this?"

"Lets turn these damn tables. Lets go out!" Brennan smiled, amazed at her own mischevious plan.

"What?! I thought you didn't want to...." He was dumbfounded. What the hell is she planning?

"We are are going to do a spoof."

"You mean a prank?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Whatever. We are going to pretend to go out for like two weeks or so. Become the 'Wonder Couple.' Then, out of the blue, begin yelling and fighting and 'break up'. IN front of everyone, Then after a few days of 'what happened with you?' we will reveal its a prank, tell them to screw off, and go back to normal. We'll go the whole 10 yards."

"9 yards, Bones." He was seriously getting attracted to this 'mischevious' Bones.

"Those ,too. We'll kiss in public, hold hands, etcetera. We'll even make 'trips' to the janitor's closet. But, it will all mean nothing. Just one, huge prank on everyone. It might even cheat you out of that Teddy bull, too!" Booth laughed.

"God doesn't fall for that, you know."

"Well, you can damn well try, can't you?" Booth hrugged

"Guess so. When do you want to make the 'announcement'?"

"Tomarrow, at that meeting your speaking at. Everyone wil be there. In the end of your speech, call me up there, ask me out, we'll swap spit, everyone will clap, Angela will squeel, and we'll go from there." All Booth could do was grin at this point. For being a social nerd, that Temperance Brennan could pull a prank.

"Sounds great Bones. See you tomarrow. " And much to his surprise, she stood on her tiptoes, kissed him on the cheek, and walked off. All he could do was watch her go.  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Sarge!" Teddy walked up to him.

"Hey Teddy! Guess what?"

"You askd her out, didn't you! Way to go!" Teddy patted him on the back.

"Not yet. Tomarrow at the meeting. Be there, but if you don't mind, I need some sleep, so out of my bed tonight, please?"

"Okay. Good for you." He was being secure.

'Shit.' Booth thought. 'He is really falling for it.'

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A/N HAHAHA! Lets see how this shin dig rolls downhill.

COMMENT I thrive off of them! Leave suggestions, there fun. OH! And im so sorry i havent brought Parker in yet. He'll be there in the next chap, promise!

merci au reviouir 


	5. A Question

Teddy, the Annoying Ghost

A Question-

Desc-BxB start the little 'spoof' (haha Brennan)

disclaimer- I own bones, which is the reason im writing a FANfic, instead of the real thing.  
Theres a smart one:) haha

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Booth picked up Parker at 8 that morning, and planned on taking him to the speech.

"Daddy?" is son called out from the back seat of the SUV.

"What, bub?"

"You seem nervous. Whats going to happen?" He sounded conerned. Booth smiled

"Aw, bub, its no big deal. I just have to give a big speech to motivate the team. They've been kinda slack lately. NO biggie!"

"Do you have stage fright?" Booth was shocked.

"No, I'm okay. I promise." Booth calmed down a bit.

"Okay, daddy! Will Dr. Bones be there?" And got nervous again...

"Yes, bub, she most definately will."

XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The speech had gone by fabulously, but it was this next part Booth was so worried about.

For the past 17 minutes, he had been telling the team 'You're doing amazing', 'we need to stick together' and what ever else was needed to make sure all ends of the team were secure. He looked over the audience. Parker was on the verge of falling asleep, Angela kept whispering something to Cam, Hodgins was caught up in the lecture, Cullen was listening intently, Sweets was still making notes on the damned legal pad, Teddy was in the corner, just staring and the other 8 FBI members were either whispering to eachother or occasionally shot Brennan a 'Am I doing okay?' look, and she would smile or give him a slight thumbs up, and this kept him motivated to keep going.

All the way to the 'Grand Finale'.

"...And now I would like to call up my brilliant partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan, and ask her a question. Bones..."

He smiled and gestered at her for her to come, and she smiled and gracefully walked up to Booth's podium. All 15 pairs of eyes (16 if you count Teddy's, whose were only visible to Booth) stared at them,  
anxiously waiting to see what was up.

Brennan smiled at him, but her eyes clearly said 'Do not screw this up." He took a sharp intake of breath.

"Hey Bones." He smiled at her, as nervous as can be.

"Hi Booth." Get on with it, please. He swallowed harshly.

"Would you like to go out with me? You know, a date?" Well, that was cheesy....

He winced slightly, half expecting her to pop him in the shoulder for not thinking 'the line' through.  
He then discovered, at that moment, that if she hadn't decided to become an anthropolgist, she could have made it out as an actress.

And a damn good one at that.

She seemed to blush slightly and grinned.

"You don't know how long I've been wanting to hear that." She took his hand in hers. "And yes, I will."

She then stood on her toes and threw her arms around him, and began to kiss him. Surprised, Booth returned the gesture, but is mind was reeling.

'She is a damn good actress.' He thought to himself, completely forgetting the crowd watching them. He was extremely caught up in the moment, somewhat wishing it was the 'real deal', even though he'd never admit that to anyone, especially not her...

'He is a damn good kisser.' She pushed herself into him more. By now, the entire room had erupted in wolf-whistling and clapping.  
Angela was on the verge of passing out; she hadn't stopped squeeling through the whole three minutes of the kiss, and Parker covered his eyes. Teddy started doing a little dance in the back corner, and was chanting something about "Go Sarge!"

Booth broke the kiss first, in desperate need for air. The crowd was still carrying on, and the two partners blushed slightly.  
Parker spoke up.

"Daddy! Gross! Why did you kiss Dr. Bones?" Everyone laughed. Booth didn't know quite what to say.

"Uh, because we are going out now." He looked at Brennan for approval, and she shrugged.

"Okay, but, don't kiss her around me. Its really gross!" Booth and Brennan chuckled.

"okay, bub. Okay." He smiled.

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A/N- It was short, yes. Im also really happy you find the story funny.

As always, please comment. They motivate me:D

Merci,  
Au Reviour 


	6. Pop

**Teddy the Annoying Ghost:)**

Pop-  
Yet one more addition to my little story. BxB are in the midst of the Spoof, while Teddy (our favorite ghost :D ) begins to stick his nose in where it doesn't belong. Parker is questioning Brennan's sanity. Read:P

Disclaimer- I. do. not. own. bones. p.s.-if all the writers on here are not the ACTUAL writers from 'Bones', why need we put that?  
---just a thought-

**PS**- I have decided to spell-check, finallyX)  
I was being retarded! okay, I am finished.  
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Booth pulled Parker onto his shoulders as he, Parker, and Brennan walked into the Diner.  
He was being very 'in-charecter', holding hands with Brennan and smiling like he'd just won the lottery. Their normal waitress, seeing the new 'couple' gave them a confused look,  
then smiled, realising what she was witnessing. She waved at them to sit down in the normal booth beside the window.

Booth gently let Parker down, and then groaned when he saw who was sitting at the bar, smiling at staring at the trio.

Teddy.

"Oh, now that's just wonderful!" Booth exclaimed rather loudly, getting up from his seat. Everyone in the Diner looked at him with eyes that undoubtedly questioned his sanity. Brennan pulled him to the side.

"Booth! What are you doing?" Brennan looked between both of his chocolate-brown eyes.  
He bent down towards her left ear.

"Teddy's here. Spying. Little bastard!" He whispered.

"Where?" Brennan crossed her arms.

"At the bar. Two seats from the back wall." Booth turned her around and faced her towards where Teddy was seated. She turned around and popped him in the back of the head.

"OW! Bones! What was that for?" Parker looked at Brennan with shock.

"Do you see him now?" Booth rubbed the back of his head.

"Yea..." She smacked him again. Parker tugged at Brennan's sleeves.

"Dr. Bones? Why did you hit Daddy? You are supposed to be in love with him"  
Brennan's heart skipped a beat at the last sentence.

"Your dad is seeing things. I am trying to knock some sense into him."

"I'm sorry, but , Bones,you've knocked nothing but bruises into my head."He poked the back of his head, searching for any tenderness.

"Oh, my force used was not enough to do any damage to the epidermis. You'll be fine!" Booth rolled his eyes.

"It still hurts!" Brennan rolled her eyes.

"Well, here. Let me kiss you and make it better." She leaned in and brushed her lips lightly against his, making his heart rate jump. Parker groaned.

"Gross." They laughed.

"Better, Booth?" He chuckled

"Sure, Bones. Sure." At that, the little trio went and sat back down in the booth. As the lady was taking the drink orders, Teddy came and sat down right next to Parker, who was on the opposite side of Brennan and Booth.

"Hey little buddy!" Parker turned towards Teddy.

"Hi, mister! Are you one of daddy's friends?"

And at that, Booth's jaw dropped, threatening to be dislocated.

_Parker could see Teddy?_

MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK A/N- A twist, and a cliff hanger. Don't know if I'll have the time to update for a while.  
Any who, enjoy, and PLEASE comment. I love them!

Merci!  
Au Revior


	7. Show Yourself!

**Teddy, The Annoying Ghost.**

Show yourself!- I cannot get a good description in without giving away my entire plot for this chapter. So Sorry:) Read and find out.

Disclaimer- I do not own bones. Wish I did, but I don't.

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"Now that's just not _fair_!" It was Brennan this time who had stood up and started yelling like an idiot. Booth's eyes got wide as he yanked his partner/prank-girlfriend back down.

"Bones! Shh!" He gave a her a look that read _'Behave!_'

"Booth! Its just not fair that Parker can see Teddy, but I can't." Brennan uncharacteristically stomped her foot like a five year old. "Why do you suppose he can see him, but I cant?"

"Dr. Bones, you can't see Mr. Teddy?" Parker raised an eyebrow in a very Booth-like manner.

"No honey, I can't. And its pissing me off." She crossed her arms.

"Language, Bones! He's seven!" He glared at her.

"I'm almost eight, daddy!" Parker crossed his arms.

"I know, bub, but, still, bad language is still bad."

"But then, why do you say damn, and hell..." Booth's eyes got wide.

"PARKER! Do not say those words, even if you are referencing.."

"..or else you'll sound all mean. Listen to your daddy, Parks, or else you'll come around to people as a 'bad guy', and you don't want that." Teddy cut in.

"OK, Mr. Teddy!" Parker gave Teddy a hug, and if it was at all possible for a ghost to do so, Teddy blushed.

"Booth! What'd he say? I wanna know!" Brennan was tugging at his sleeve.

"He told Parker not cuss, okay."

"Okay, but I still want to see him!"

"Not gunna happen. He only seems visible to me, Parker, and your brother." Teddy spoke up.

"Jared can see you, too?" Booth's jaw dropped.

"Anyone related by blood or marriage can see me."

"Then why can't Bones? We're a couple now! She doesn't believe in marriage, thet's not fair to her, Teddy!" Booth was being serious now. He looked the ghost straight in the eyes.

"Mabey its because this isn't true love. She's not family to you yet, Sarge." He gave Booth a

"Are you serious?" Booth slammed his fist on table.

"'Bout what, Sarge?" Teddy tilted his head to the side.

"Your not leaving until she's family?!" Oh, damn!

"Guess so." Teddy shrugged.

"Dammit Booth! I wanna be in this conversation, too! Show yourself, apparition!" Brennan was now yelling.  
Everyone in the diner got quiet and stared at that little booth by the window. People looked at them with eyes of disgust and confusion. Brennan, Parker, Booth, and even Teddy sunk lower in their seats. Booth flagged down the next waitress that passed by and asked for his check.

The trio and Teddy loaded up in the SUV. Not one of them spoke a word the whole way to Rebecca's house, where they were to drop off Parker. When they pulled up in her driveway, Booth spoke up.

"Hey, Parks, you know its not right to lie, eh?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, don't tell your mom about Mr. Teddy, okay?"

"But, why?"

"Because, not everyone can see him, and they'll think you are lying."

"Oh, okay." Parker and Booth simultaneously got out of the car. Brennan decided it was best for her to stay in the SUV.  
XOXOXOXOXOXO

Rain was pouring down the sides of the car as Booth and Brennan pulled up to the Jeffersonian. Booth gave Brennan his coat, and then the both made a break for the doors, laughing and competing, like they always do.

As if on guard, Angela was already waiting at the window. She trotted up to the 'couple' as the pushed through the doors of the Jeffersonian. Seeing Angela, Brennan turned Booth around and kissed him with no forewarning. He kissed back, surprised, but then heard Angela squealing, and understood why.

She broke the kiss, and smiled at him, then walked right up to her best friend. Booth walked off to find if he ad a new case.

"Tell me everything!" Angela was bouncing on her toes.

"Well, where do I start?" Brennan began to ponder purposely, just because she knew Angela would hate it.

"Is he a good kisser?"

"I dont think that's a good place to.."

"Dam'mit Bren! Is he a good kisser?" Brennan smiled to herself.

"Yes. He very much so is." Angela squealed.

"Can he work it between the sheets?" Brennan's mouth opened a little bit.

"You actually think I've had sex with Booth already?"

"Uh, yeah! You two are bound to jump things a bit."

"Well, I haven't." Angela gasped, then smirked.

"Ha ha, yes you have. Your lying!"

"Angela! We've had Parker all weekend; I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to!"

"You don't want to?"Angela gasped.

"I do! Its just, complicated.." That was the first time she had ever used those words.

"Why?"

"I really don't want to screw this relationship up. I like him, Angela." Those were the first real words of truth she had spoken to Angela, and herself. She liked Booth, and she didn't want to screw the prank up and ruin the relationship forming there. Now, wether she was 'heels over head' or whatever in the hell it was in love, she wasn't sure, but she was sure she cared about him enough not to mess up the partnership.

"Ah, I see." Angela couldn't stop the smile that formed at the corners of her lips.

"What?"

"You really like him, Don't you?" Angela began to bounce again.

"I'm going out with him, remember?"

"Uh, Yeah, but, you really like him, Bren. You love him, don't you?"

Brennan did not know what to say without giving the wrong impression or ruining the Spoof.  
She rolled her eyes and walked away.

"I'm not finished with you, Bren."

"But I am with you, Ange." Brennan waved at Angela, and headed to her office.

She had decided to ask Booth to the janitor's closet.

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

**A/N**

I'll update soon:) Thanks for reveiwing.

love and hugs:)  
_--Words--_


	8. Busted!

TEDDY the annoying Ghost

Busted!

A/N- Oh my goodness! I haven't had the time to update, so, yah.

Hopefully, this chapter will make up for the lost time. i have been SO SO SO busy, ya hear?

C7-Busted!- BxB take a little 'trip'

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKM**

"Booth!" Brennan jogged up to her partner. He turned around.

"Hey, Bones, whats up?" She seemed slightly out-of-breath.

"You. Me. Janitors closet on the second floor. Now." She pointed towards the stairs.

"What?! The _janitor's closet,_ Bones? We've been _'going out'_ for ,what, three days?"

"True, but Angela thinks..."

"Angela, thinks? Come on, Bones, we can't push it. How are we going to fake _that,_ anyway?"

"You will see if you just come with me!" She grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the stairs He groaned, but followed her.

"You owe me for this Bones!" She raised an eyebrow at him

"Money?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXXOXO**

Brennan shut the closet door behind them and locked it. She turned on the light.

The room was tiny, and in need of vacuuming. There were brooms and mops in one corner and four shelves of cleaning supplies on the left wall.

"So, Bones, how do plan on pulling this off without actually doing 'it'?"

"Easy. Take off your clothes." She made a hand gesture at him.

"What? No, _I refuse_!" Booth crossed his arms like a four year old.

"Fine. Everything but your undergarments."

"Okay. Then what?" Booth began to take off his suit.

"I'll take off mine." Booth began to fidget; it would be awkward to see her like that.

After 5 minutes the two of them were in their underwear, and they both had to admit,  
it was uncomfortable.

"Now, Bones, what next in this 'brilliant' plan?" He tried to put as much sarcasm in that sentence as he could.

"Lie down." He looked at her funny, then did as he was told, and she joined him.

"And now?" They were facing each other.

"Roll." She said it very

"What is this? Stop, drop, and roll?"

"No. Fake sex. That's what it is." And she began to toss back and forth, and Booth followed, baffled.

And so, there they were, half naked, rolling on the janitor's closet floors.

"Bones, how doe this resemble sex, at all?"

"When we leave, we Will be out of breath and our hair will look ridiculous, just like the real thing." He nodded, realising how well- thought out her plan was.

"Booth!" Brennan randomly moaned. He jumped up, worried.

"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows and she looked at him funny.

"I'm acting! Get in character. We have to vocalize some, you know!"

"Okay, then." He took a breath in. "Bones!" He tried to sound as 'into' it as possible,  
but she just glared at him.

"Don't make it obvious, Booth!"

"Make what obvious, Sarge?" Teddy crossed his arms and frowned.

"Teddy!" Reddening, Booth tried to cover himself.

"I know your lying, Sarge. Its obvious. You have underwear on."

"So, I guess we are busted?" Booth had a sheepish look on his face.

"Busted. And in for a busting."

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

**A/N**

UH OH! BxB are in trou-ble! What next?  
again, sorry for the delay

-_W_


	9. Laughter

**Teddy, The Annoying Ghost.**

**Description:** after busting the duo, Teddy is out for revenge, and a bit of messing around with Booth's head (and sleeping patterns). Read.

DISCLAIMER-i totally don't own bones. But, I really want to!

Peace, Love, and David Boreanaz:)

**-WMKMKMKMKMKMKMKM**

"How could you do that? You actually thought you could get away with this?" Teddy was screaming at Booth while he and Brennan fumbled to put their clothes back on. Booth was getting very upset at the ghost's little 'pop in's. He couldn't just stick his nose in wherever.

"I don't know, Teddy! Why did you interrupt us?" Teddy cackled a little bit.

"Interrupt _what_? You two rolling around on the floor in your underwear like retards?"

"But what if we HAD been doing 'it'. You couldn't just pop in on Bones and me having sex!"

"Ah, but I knew!" Teddy shook his finger at them two. Brennan, who still couldn't see Teddy,  
left the closet, not wanting to get in any paranormal trouble.

"And how the hell would you know?" Booth crossed his arms.

"Had you actually been interested in her, you would have made this trip before the first date."

"Would _not_ have!" Booth's eyebrows shot up.

"Admit it, you would have! I know you way too well, Sarge."

"Fine. I might have." Teddy rolled his eyes.

"_Might have_? If this wasn't a bunch of bull, after you asked her out, you'dve done her on the spot."

"You know what, enough! I'm leaving. I'm through with all this bullshit!" Booth slung a bunch of towels off a shelf.

"Its not over, Sarge! The fun has just begun." Teddy laughed, sounding a bit high.

"I don't give a damn." Booth yelled, flicking the ghost off as he slammed the door to the closet on the way out.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Brennan was waiting on the outside of the closet when Booth came out, fuming.

"What'd he say?" Brennan asked, almost scared to find out.

"Nothing." Booth looked at the ground and stormed off, leaving Brennan with a gazillion questions in her head.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Wua, ha, ha, ha, ha!" A deep, evil laugh came from a side of Booth's Bed.

"Dammit Teddy!" No answer

"Teddy?" Still no answer.

"Dammit Teddy!" Booth went back to sleep.

As soon as Booth was fully asleep, the eerie laughter continued.

"TEDDY!" And the ghost laughed, and laughed.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Booth walked into work the next day, looking like hell (and feeling it, too). He needed to talk to Brennan, fast. The guilt (okay, so maybe it was Teddy, waking him up every ten minutes)  
was begining to eat him alive.

"Hey, Bones!" He tapped her on the shoulder. She turned, smiling, and kissed him on the cheek. She was enjoying the spoof a little too much.

"Hey Booth." She said, twirling her hair. She wasn't going to make this part easy, was she?

"Bones, we need to 'break up'. " He said, just quietly enough so only she could hear.

Her face fell.

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

A/N- Cliffie:) Will they admit all, or will things go back to normal?

Oh, and will Booth get some sleep? Find out on Tuesday:D

**COMMENT**, I want **55-60**comments by Tues, so, yeah:P

i love those things...

thanks

-_W_


	10. Capture

**Teddy, the Annoying Ghost.**

Chapter 10- **Capture**- OMG!This chapter is a twist, for sure! Wanna know what happens?

Read and Find out.

A/N- Thanks for the comments. 58, OMG! I am SO happy people find the storyline amusing and strong. Thanks to all who have been reading from the start. You make me happy;)

(Starts singing 'It'll make me happy')

Alright, I'll shut up and write now. Thanks again!

_-W_

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

Brennan, like Booth, had gotten very little sleep for the next few days. She didn't want to break up. She liked having Booth's arm around her in public, and playfully kissing him on the nose. He made her feel secure. He made her feel wanted. And she most certainly didn't want any of that todissapear. Sully had made her feel loved and adored, but there was just something Booth had, even if they were just messing around , that Sully hadn't been able to provide her. There was real chemistry between her and Booth,and she did not want to miss any opportunity in her hands to make this right.

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

Sleep in Booth's apartment was next to impossible. It was more than impossible. It was _'There-is-no-way-in-hell_" impossible. Teddy was taking advantage of not needing to sleep, and was either pretending to be the Bogeyman, or was pretending to be an Opera singer. Either way, Booth had had enough.

"Hey, Bones." Booth spoke quietly into his Razr.

"Booth, its 4 in the morning, what?" She was whining, obviously a little sleep deprived.

"Can I come over? Teddy is bothering me."

"Booth, if this is some scheme to get into my pants, it didn't work. My sleeping habits are off and I'm in no mood to any sort of physical activity."

"Its not that, at all. Teddy is trying to keep me awake, because he is all pissed about catching us. That's why I want us to break up now." Brennan fell silent.

"Bones?"

"Yeah, Booth, I'm here. I want to talk to you about that."

"What?"

"The breaking up thing." Brennan sighed

"Oh, well if you don't want to..." He said, hearing the doctor's sad tone.

"No, no, its fine, I will, will! I'm sure you want some sleep" Truth was, it wasn't fine. It was far from fine. She had just agreed to lose her Booth, to lose her happiness.

"Well, okay. How about some late-night Thai?" She laughed.

"Okay, see you there."

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

After waiting ten minutes at the Thai place, Brennan was getting worried. Where was Booth?  
He had never been known to be late, unless traffic was hell, but quite frankly, she couldn't think of any reason traffic would be that bad at 4:15 in the morning. She decided to call him.

"Hello, you have reached the cell phone of Agent Seeley Booth. I am unable to take your call at the moment, so leave a message. Thanks!" Brennan quickly hit the end button. He always answered her calls. This began to scare her more and more by the second. The gravedigger was still in jail, wasn't she?

She quickly ran out of the restraunt, slapping 5 dollars on the table for the meal she hadn't had time to eat. As she ran out the door, her eyes scanned the parking lot for his familiar SUV, and took a large breath out when she found it. Thank the lord.

She tapped the window, but then, as she was peering in, she noticed he wasn't there.  
Instead, there was a yellow sticky note taped to the drivers seat.

"You have caught the Gravedigger, one of the most menacing killers D.C. has had, but don't think I'll be so easy. I am the Black Hole, and when most people go in, they don't come out. You have 48 hours to fulfill my requests. If they are not completed, Agent Booth will die, without a doubt. You are on the clock now, to find a way to give me 20 million dollars and all of the Howard Epps evidence. _War has just begun."_

"_Here we go again."_ Brennan thought as large tears streamed down her face. Wasn't losing him off of a Spoof bad enough. She speed-dialed Angela, who picked up the phone immediately.

"Ang, its me. Someone new has Booth."

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

A/N- okay, so this **Totally **wasn't supposed to be the plot line for this chapter, but I was ready for a more serious vibe. Will Teddy help Brennan save Booth? Find out soon!

p.s. I was on time:) I updated on Tuesday

Comment, please!

_-W_


	11. Tears

**Teddy, The Annoying Ghost**

C11- Tears

Description- Angela and Brennan have a one on one about Bren and Booth's relationship

DISCLAIMER_ I do not own bones (Shortened - IDNOB)

MMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK

"Angela." Brennan's eyes were all teary when she attacked her best Friend who had just arrived to the scene with a hug. Angela had drove much faster than the legal limit to get to her heartbroken friend. Brennan began to let loose of all emotions she had locked in.

"Oh, sweetie. We'll get him, I promise. We'll catch that bastard." Angela had began to tear up as well. This would be a difficult case for the both of them

"I hope so, Ang. I love him, _I really do._ I want him to live to know that. He doesn't know yet." Angela broke the embrace to look at her friend with questioning eyes. He didn't know?

"Honey, you've been going out for, what, two weeks now? _He doesn't know?"_ Angela looked at her straight in the eyes. Brennan looked down and sighed.  
This was worth spilling the secret for.

"We weren't going out. We were spoofing you." Angela's puffy red eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and surprise.

"What the hell do you mean, 'spoofing you'? You two were just playing around?" Brennan winced and kicked a pebble back and forth between her feet.

"Uhm, yes, we were. Are you mad?"

"Uh, _hell yes_! I really thought I was seeing the beginning of, like, the wonder couple, and now, Sweets owes me a hundred bucks." Angela stomped her foot, huffing loudly.

"What? Sweets owes you money for what?" Brennan tilted her head slightly to the left, reminding Angela a little too much of Booth.

"OH, about that..." Now it was Angela who was looking guilty. Brennan tightened her jaw.

"Angela..."

"There was a Jeffersonian bet." Angela blurted out, rather quickly. Brennan furrowed her eyebrows.

"A bet? What of?" Brennan already knew, but she wanted a spoken confession, like in a case of her and... his. She refused to think of him at the moment. It would undoubtedly make her cry.

"You and Booth. Getting together. I promised 100 bucks to the first person to get you two together, and Sweets won." Brennan began to wonder._ How the hell did Sweets win?_

"_Sweets_ won? How?" Angela had this 'Duh" look on her face.

"Hello! He got you and Booth together."

"No, he didn't, _Teddy_ did!" Brennan mimicked Angela's 'Duh' look.

"Teddy who?" Angela apparently had no experience with Booth's little friend, if that was the word.

"Uh.." She had no clue on how to say the truth without sounding like someone on drugs. so, she lied. "Its Booth's friend, he wanted us to go out, and it bothered him, so we went out, to get all of you back, for not leaving us alone. And, now...." Okay, so it wasn't a flat out lie, but it wasn't the full truth either.

"Now, what?" Angela has praying to _Sweet Jesus_ that this was the moment she had been wanting. _The shocking confession_.

"Well, now, I have fallen in love with him, _Ang,_ I.." But she was caught off-guard by a suffocating hug from a half squealing, half hiccuping-from-crying Angela.

"Oh, yes. Sweetie, thats amazing. I'm so happy for you." Angela let go of her to smile with approval at her friend. Brennan was still crying softly. It hurt her to talk about Booth. Angela's look went from happy to sympathetic.

"I'm sorry. I really am. When did you realise you loved him?" Brennan hiccuped.

"Ironically enough," She laughed a tad. "Right before he asked for us to end the spoof. Teddy caught us, and he was being mean to B..." Her voice shook from saying his name. "Booth. So, he decided now would be the time to tell you guys to get the hell off our case."

"Wow. That's harsh." Brennan smiled, with as much enthusiasm as someone heartbroken as possible could.

"You're telling me. You know what?" Brennan put her hands on her hips.

"What, Bren?"

"I'm going to catch that bastard, and _then_ I **am** going to tell Booth I love him." Angela smiled, very proud of her friend.

"You do that. I will be there with a camera. And streamers. And.." Angela began to bounce on her toes.

"Angela, it won't be a party." Brennan rolled her eyes, but Angela was way too excited to listen.

"And I'll make sure the entire lab is there! Yes. Oh, _yay_!"

"We have to find him first!" Brennan said, hoping to get her friend back to real life. Ten cars, boasting flashing lights and sirens pulled up to the restraunt.

"Oh, yeah. Hey, the FBI's here. Looks like you are teamed up with Perotta again." Angela gestured to the blonde getting out of one of the SUVs. Brennan moaned.

"_Shit_. Last thing I need is for her to mess up my search."

And with that, Brennan and Angela walked over to the cars, hoping like hell that the FBI would help out.

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

**A/N-** Did you like it. My story is more serious now, I guess. (Not really, later.:) ) Well, next chapter will have Booth in it, I promise.

Comment, please?

Thanks. I like to hear what people think, its fun.

-_W_


	12. Calls

Teddy, The Annoying Ghost

Calls- So, here we are, with Booth gone and a very VERY upset Brennan. Now, Enter Agent Perotta (Whats her first name, by the way? If you know it, comment it, please :0) ). This calls for some Catfights and competition, right?

You had better beleive it!

Read.

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"What I don't understand," Agent Perotta scrutinized the yellow note in front of her. "Is why the hell this guy wants the Epps evidence. The guy is dead, right?"

"Epps is definately dead." Brennan shuddered inside, just from that terrible memory. "Maybe it's a relative, or something."

In fact, Brennan had a good idea on why this guy wanted the evidence. He was trying to mimic Epps, lead the FBI into thinking Epps was magically resurrected like that Jesus guy from the Christian Quaran, or Bible, or something of that sort that Booth was always referring to. Brennan was under too much stress to think of the actual name for the book at the moment, but she didn't care. A book is a book, right?

Brennan had already decided from the moment Perotta put one leather heel on the pavement that she was not going to give any scientific evidence to her. She was going to figure this one out all by herself, and with no help at all from the Blond Bitch. And when Temperance Brennan has her mind set, she sticks to the plan.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Booth woke up around an hour after his attack to a dark room. He was bound to a chair, with ropes cutting into his legs and chest area. he ad never felt so helpless in his life.

"Hello?" Nothing. "Hello?!"

His yells echoed right back to him. He was alone. Completely alone.

But where?

At that second, he heard a slight, beating beep noise, sounding just like a heart beat. And then it struck him.

He was tied to a bomb.

Shit.

He began to thrash within the ropes. All of a sudden, a very familiar voice came out of the dark.

"Need some help, Sarge?"

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOX

"Excuse me." Brennan not-so-gently shoved Perotta out of the doorway to the van. She pulled some latex gloves out of her purse and pulled them on, anxiously waiting to thoroughly examine the note. She carefully picked it up, and turned it to and from the light. She then realised something was written on the back.

"Call 1 970 555 7490."

Bingo.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXO

"Teddy?" Booth could not believe what he was seeing, or rather, hearing.

"In the flesh." They both cracked up from the irony of the statement.

"But, aren't you pissed at me? Just a day, or days, I don't know, ago, you were sitting on my bedside, pretending to be High School Musical starring the Grudge."

"Well, I can't be mad at you now, can I? You basically looking death in the face, unless your girlfriend can help you..."

"And she will. I trust Bones." He didn't bother to correct Teddy; he kind of like Bones being called his girlfriend. And it wasn't like he was seeing anyone, either.

"I do too. She loves you, Sarge."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXO

"Perotta! Your phone, now." Brennan had said with 'Now' with a slight bark, sounding more like a Sargent than a Anthropologist.

"Why mine? You have one, too!'' None the less, Perotta pulled out her phone and handed it to Brennan. Only when it was secure inside her hands would she answer.

"In case it blows up, of course. Mine has too much info to lose." Perotta immediately regretting giving in to Brennan's plan. All she could do was just hope that ot wouldn't burst into flame. Brennan dialed the number, pressing the speaker phone button and practically throwing it on the seat when she pressed send.

After one ring, the answering machine picked up, no huge explosion included.

"Hello. This is the Black Hole. Enjoy the message. Agent Booth is still alive. Goodbye." The message sounded just the ones the gravedigger used to send.

"That's it? What the hell?" Perotta yelled at the phone. God, Brennan thought. That woman could be so retarded at times. She wasn't going to ruin her plan, so she just let it be.

"Perotta, send it back to the Jeffersonian, now. They'll know what to do with it." Brennan waved her hand in a 'shoo-shoo' way.

"Dr. Brennan, if you know something I don't, you need to tell me. It will help the case." Brennan smirked to herself.

"I know nothing." She smiled, and hopped in her car, heading right over to the Jeffersonian.

She then realised she couldn't do this by herself. She didn't have the people skills required.

She needed someone human-feeling-savvy to help her out.

She needed Sweets to help her out.

MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK

A/N-  
Hope I did okay with the whole two completely different stories shin-dig. Please comment. As you can tell, some humor, and not all angst was inserted into this chapter.

Expect more soon.

Comment, especially if you know Perotta's first name.

THANKS!

-W


	13. Queen of the Lab

Teddy, the Annoying Ghost.

Queen of the Lab- Brennan is trying to solve the case by herself , and Peyton Perotta ( Thanks SO much, guys! I don't know why I missed that...) catches the drift. Tension is definatley there. Booth is trying to save his own life, and Teddy, well, is being Teddy.

Read.

I don't own Bones:)

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

"The phone is located right.. here!" Angela pointed towards the screen in front of her, and the Squint Squad was grouped around her.

"What I don't get, is that, he wanted us to find the phone. Why?" Hodgins furrowed his eyebrows a bit.

"First off," Brennan spoke up. "It could be a 'she'. Second, this guy is playing a mix of Epps and the Gravedigger. He is like Epps in the fact that this is just one large puzzle, and he's like the Gravedigger because he, or she, is hiding a person with a death threat and in demands of a ransom. I just don't get why they are doing it , nor do I have the faintest clue who they could be. This one will be a challenge." Brennan was pacing like a wild animal.

"Well, we can start off by finding the phone. Where's Agent Perotta?" Cam looked side to side, wondering where the woman was.

"Oh, Barbie is talking to some people at the Bureau. I'll fill her in later. Wheres Sweets? I need him." Cam looked at Brennan funnily, but didn't question the Doctor's reasonings.

"Come on!" Brennan said, grabbing her keys.

** XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Teddy, what do you mean she loves me?" Booth shot a glare in the direction of the ghost's voice.

"Well, I honestly don't know how to make it any more obvious to you..." Teddy rolled his eyes.

"Well, whatever. Lets focus on getting out of here first." Booth began to fidget with the ropes. Teddy than also began to play with them, finding the ends and beginning to unravel the mess.

Within minutes, Booth was free of his restraints. He stood up and shook off, feeling slightly dizzy. On the back of his neck were two burn marks.

'How deja-vu...' He thought, laughing a bit. He put his hands in front of him, still blinded by the darkness, an walked forward, looking for a wall of some sort.  
About twenty feet in front of him, Booth's hands touched a smooth, cold, metallic substance. He began to move to his left, searching for a door. A minute later, he stumbled across what felt like a vault-like opening.

"Teddy, come help me!"

"Where are you, Sarge?"

"Follow my voice. "

And for the next minute, Booth kept saying 'here' to help Teddy find his way over to him.

**XOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Found it!" Hodgins held the cell phone in his hand like a Heisman trophy. "King of the lab, my friend. King of the lab." He kept smiling. Brennan quickly snatched it out of his hand, flipping it open. One missed call, one new message. The missed call was obviously from Perotta's cell phone, so Brennan clicked 'exit.' It was the text message she was eagerly wanting to read.

One new message from: Self. Smart person for sending a message to themself, no way to trace it.

"Hello. This is the Black Hole." _No shit, dumbass_. "Agent Booth is alive. He wanted me to give you flowers, but Allison was in the way. Goodbye." Brennan stared at the message for a while, before turning to Sweets.

"Allison was in the way? Allison who?" She looked at him like he HAD to know the answer, but he just shrugged. Angela looked like she had just remembered something.

"I know!" She smiled."The next clue is at the old Flora's Flowers shop. It shut down not too long ago after after a girl named Allison Flanners filed a law suit that left them broke, and out of business. The building is still there!" She didn't have to finish, for Brennan was already starting up her car and yelling "Lets go!" out the window.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Alright Teddy! To the left!"

The two men pulled the wheel hard, and it slowly began to twist. As twist after twist came, it seemed like it would never end, but after five minutes of hard work, the door released, opening the up to a small room with three doors. Booth went to the first door on his left. When he opened it, very cautiously, a jack-in-the-box like clown popped out with a bloody knife, causing Booth to scream in a very un-manly like fashion.

"Fuck! What the hell?" Booth had slammed the door in the dummy's face. Teddy was cracking up in the other corner.

"What? You know I hate clowns!" Booth's heart was still threatening to win the Kentucky Derby.

"Yes, and so does this person." He let out a chuckle. "Which means, they know you well, Sarge."

"What?" Booth looked mortified. "But, who?"

"Dunno Sarge. Dunno."

XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Brennan." Brennan picked up her phone, not bothering to check the caller I.D.

"Hey, this is Agent Perotta. Where the hell are you, Dr. Brennan?" She sounded pissed.

"Working on the case in my office." Brennan lied.

"You are not in your office!" Perotta was now yelling through the phone.

"Oh really? And how do you know this?"

"Because I am standing in your God damned office!" Perotta stomped her foot.

"Oh." Brennan felt kind of embarrassed.

"Yeah, oh. Where are you Temperance?" She had said Temperance with a slight sneer.

"On my way to Flora's Flower Shop, Peyton." Brennan mocked Perotta's tone perfectly.

" I will be there, and we will have a discussion about this later." And with that, Brennan laughed and hung up the phone, with no formal goodbyes.

Perotta showed up to the flower shop ten minutes after the squints. She was still fuming, and when she caught up to the Squints, she let loose.

"What the hell are you going for? We need to stick together to find Agent Booth." She glared at them, making sure she made eye contact with each.

"Dr. Brennan said you were in a meeting. She also said she would fill you in later." Hodgins spoke up, and Brennan was about to smack him.

"I was in the restroom, for heaven's sake! You need me there all the time! What if there had been a bomb, or something?" Perotta was getting to an unnatural shade of red.

"Then we would have ran out. I know how to detect a bomb, and I have a gun. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself!" Brennan stomped her foot. Perotta moved in closer.

"Well, I want to find Booth. You can go do whatever, but I will find him." Perotta pushed Brennan's shoulder.

Brennan pushed back. "Not if I find him first." And then Perotta went to shove Brennan's shoulder again, but this was it. Brennan had had enough. She grabbed Perotta's hand and fell towards the ground, and so the two began to fight, the traditional way. Hodgins realised what was happening and pulled out his new camera phone, and began to record a video. Booth would kill to see this when he gets back...

They rolled on the floor, biting and pulling the other's hair. Even though she wasn't nearly as skilled as Brennan, Perotta was putting up a damn good fight. Angela and Cam ran into the tangle of the two cursing and screaming women.

Brennan's phone, which fell out of her pocket and was laying five feet away from her and Perotta, rang. Sweets bent down and picked it up, not taking his eyes off the women.

"Dr. Temperance Brennan's phone, Lance Sweets talking."

"Dr. Sweets, where is Dr. Brennan, and why isn't she answering the phone?" Shit, it was Cullen.

"Uh, she is in the restroom. Can I take a message?"

"Get off of me, Perotta! Sweets, give me my damn phone!" Brennan lifted her hand up, palm open.

" Sweets, why is Perotta 'on' Dr. Brennan?" Sweets gulped. Cullen sounded pissed.

"Imma let you talk to her."

"Damn it, Sweets! Whats going on?" Sweets had already given the phone to Brennan.

"Brennan!" She said in the phone, panting.

"Please, don't tell me you two are shooting a 'Girls gone Wild' video."

"A what? No, we are fighting."

"How? Why? Whats going on?"

"She's trying to hide evidence from me, Cullen!" Perotta screamed in the background.

"Shut up, Perotta, you're the one who is wrestling me!"

"You're hiding evidence? She's wrestling you? What the hell is going on?"

"Just two women, seeing who is Queen of the Lab."

"Well, there will be no 'Queen.' There is, however, one one king, ME, and all you little servants. You two servents will be seeing me in my liar at 8 A.M tomarrrow. You clear?" Cullen was pissed.

"Yes sir."

"Let me talk to Perotta."

Oh, shit!

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKM**

A/N Hahaha! Thanks again to all who told me Perotta's first name. I cannot believe I missed that! Thanks again.

Comment!

-W


	14. Fun House

**_C.14- Fun House_**

Oh my GOD, guys, i apologize for the (almost) three month (How ridiculous!!!) wait. It seems that a burden after burden keeps popping up in my way. Again, I apologise, and I will continue. Please say nothing about the wait; it was because of reasons I don't feel are appropriate to discuss here. Please enjoy this chapter, and the rest, until the end. Enjoy!  
Words:)

**XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXoX**

When Perotta and Brennan walked in, Hodgins' video was playing on the over-head projector. Watching herself on film, Brennan had decided that wrestling Perotta was not the most rational thing to do. Shortly after the call from Cullen, Brennan had discovered yet another clue from the 'Black Hole', and quickly realised this guy sucked _ass _at writing riddles.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Booth is scared of clowns. Go to a house where you are sure not to frown." As the words replayed several times throughout Brennan's head, and a myriad of thoughts ran through her mind.

_'Mirror, mirror, on the wall? What the Hell?_'

_'How would he (or she) know Booth was scared of clowns? Its someone close to him....'_

_'A house of no frowns. Wait a second... Fun House!'_

Brennan Yelled '_Yes'_ across the room, scaring an unhappy Cullen.

That probably wasn't the most rational time to make a prediction.

In fact, it had to be the worst time in the fucking world.

**XOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"Teddy, have you found a non-clown-ed door yet?"

"Um, no, I haven't. I have about 10 more doors yet."

"Shit. What do we do now?"

"Pray like hell that your girlfriend finds us before one of the clowns comes alive and kills us."

Booth wasn't sure if he had cringed more at Teddy mentioning Bones as his girlfriend, or at the terrible thought of a possessed clown killing him.

"Found it!" Teddy slung a door wide open and walked through it. Booth couldn't stop the grin that took over his face.

_'One door closer to Bones...'_

**XOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXoXoxoxOXOOOXO**

"Who the _Hell_do you two think you are? Wrestling? Hiding evidence? This is ludicrous! Unacceptable! _Irrational!"_ Cullen bellowed ,red-faced, at the women. They both took a slight step back.  
Cullen stood up and walked towards the women.

"I put you two on the case because you are the best! No one is more skilled, and you both have a connection with Agent Booth. I figured this would draw you two closer, help solve the case, but no. Instead, I find out that you two are fighting over him like lovestruck teenagers. If I find one more word of this bullshit, I am calling in the rookies. You two will be off the case. This is the last warning. The only reason I am letting you off the hook is because of your skills. Understood?"

They both nodded their heads and exhaled. It wasn't over.

_Yet._  
**XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXXXOXOXOXOXXO**

"So, Sarge, are you ready to fully admit your feelings for your partner?" Booth groaned.

"No, Teddy, I'm not." Teddy pointed a finger at him.

"So, you love her, your just not ready to admit it? That's _bullshit_..."

Booth opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Teddy.

"Do not deny it, Sarge! You talk about her in your sleep. Some of those thoughts , for future reference, are better kept in your head. I don't want to hear on and on about her soft breasts or her..."

"Enough! Okay, I love her! A lot! I wish I could come out with it and just be happy, but I can't. That fucking line is in the way. Always had been. Always will be! She doesn't love me back, and that's fine with me! As long as she trusts and respects me, that's fine! I love her too much to do it. I don't want an awkward partnership if she declines all, and I certainly don't want our partnership terminated. I don't know what to do, Teddy!"

"When she finds you, kiss her!" Teddy said it like the most obvious thing in the world.

"What makes you think she will find us?"

"I don't know. Gut feeling."

_Haha, naturally._  
**XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXO**

Perotta and Brennan walked out of Cullen's office silently, and as soon as they got out of the door, faced each other.

"Booth is at a Fun house." Brennan said, no emotion in her voice.

"How do you know this?"

"The clue. Clowns, house, no frowns. Sounds pretty 'Funhouse' to me."

'Which one?"

"One that has clowns.."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. That would be all of them."

"I wasn't finished!" Brennan glared at her. "It also has to be closed or abandoned currently. Think about it, what open fun house would allow a body in?"

"Point."

And it was back to work, no competition involved.

MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKM

Sorry for the wait, yet again. Enjoy the chap! Another will be up shortly.

love and hugs!  
_-W_


	15. Closer Yet

Teddy, the annoying ghost

Chapter 15- Closer Yet

A?N- Hey after this chapter, there will be two more. The next one concludes the story, and the last is an epilogue. I just don't have loads and loads of time any more, and 17 chapters is a decent length, don't you think? I can't drag it out for ever....

Enjoy:)

-W

**XOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXOXOXXO**

Booth was in a hall of mirrors, trying to overcome his boyish instinct to stand in front of them and laugh.

"Teddy, does this mirror make my butt look fat?" Booth laughed as the ghost rolled his eyes.

"Come on Sarge, we have to get out of here eventually.."

"Oh your no fun... I think I found an opening! " Booth ran towards it, all the energy in him building until...

_CRUNCH!_

Booth fell back, clutching his broken and bleeding nose. He wasn't sure if he was more nautious because of the pain or the sound it made when it hit the mirror.

Teddy was in hysterics. He laughed and laughed and rolled around on the floor.

"Shut up, Teddy." Booth grumbled as he pulled off his shirt to stop the bleeding.

"Now, Sarge, that was hilarious. You were running until.. Crack!" Teddy clapped his hands together and laughed a full out belly laugh.

"Lets just get out of here. Soon."

"Just make sure to feel before you hit, Sarge." teddy let out one more giggle before straightening out to get out of there.

"Shut up, Teddy."

**XOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXO**

"Well, there are three closed fun houses in the D.C. area. Two of those include clowns. I beleive we should start here and then go there." Brennan pointed at the maps. She brushed a limp strand of hair from her face. She was exhausted. No sleep had made Brennan look like living hell.

"Okay." Perotta looked sleep deprived as well. " Lets have the SWAT team do a thourough search here, and then here."

"I just hope they find Booth before he gets to join Teddy..."

"Teddy who?"

"Teddy Parker, Booth's old friend. He's dead."

"Oh. Gotcha."

Brennan dialed the number for the SWAT team and gave orders out like a military Sargent.

**XOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"All right Sarge, I found the real door!"

"Hallelujah. Its about time." Booth still had his shirt up to his nose. The bleeding had lessened, but not stopped.

Booth opened the door, expecting another room, but was shocked when a cool blast of air hit him in his bare chest.

It was the sky and a grass lot.

They were free!

**XOXXOXOXOXXOXOXXOXOOXOXXO**

Brennan started to cry when the SWAT team didn't find Booth at the first fun house. They were searching the second, but it didn't look good. A officer had gotten lost in there already.

This was hopeless. They were hopeless. This wasn't going the way she would've liked.

Suddenly, Brennan's phone rang.

"Brennan!"

"Uh, hi I was wondering if you were interested in a new car insurance..." Click

She hated telemarketers. They were so annoying! She had secretly been hoping it was Booth, or maybe even that black hole ass. Something to assure her everything was alright.

But there was none of that.

A SWAT officer knocked on her car window, scaring her a bit. She rolled down the window.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but he's not here either. We found evidence that he may have been, but there is no one in there."

"Why do you say he may have been there?" At least they were close...

"There was fresh blood on a mirror in the hall of mirrors, then a good bit on the floor. There was also an FBI tee shirt that was soaked in blood. I'm afraid the shirt was his, Miss."

That was all she needed to hear. Brennan started to bawl.

"Thank you Officer." She said through sniffles. "He was a loved one."  
**XXOOXXXOOXXOOXOXOXOXXOOXXOOXOX**

"TAXI!" Booth shouted, about four blocks from the wretched fun house.

A yellow cab screeched to a halt. The driver rolled down the window and observed the man. Thirties, well built, no shirt and blood on a broken nose. Late night bar brawl for sure.

"Get in man. Where do you want to go? No charge, looks like you had a rough night."

"Thank you, mister. It was rough. I want to go to the Jeffersonian Museum. I have to tell someone something."

" stay away from the vodka"

Booth want sure what he meant, but was thankful for the ride home.

**MKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMKMK**

So how was it?

review, and Ill love you forever!

-W


	16. Mission Accomplished

**Teddy, the Annoying Ghost**

Chapter 16- Mission Accomplished

A/N- Hey guys! Thanks for the awesome reviews; I'm glad everyone likes it....

AS you know, this is the last "official" chapter of this story, but there are a lot of loose ends to tie, so this chapter will be pretty long (in comparison to the others...) Please, stay tuned to the epilogue that I will be writing in the next few days if I find time.

Thanks to the loyal reveiwers, and to anyone else that likes this story. You guys ROCK :)

Oh, And happy fourth of July :D

Love and Hugs!  
-W

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX**

"Perotta!" Brennan was still wiping tears from her face, even after twenty minutes of straight crying.

"Brennan, I'm sorry but, he's..." It took all of her will power for Brennan to stop the mass amount of tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Spare me, I know. I just came over here to tell you that I'm going over to the Jeffersonian to work on the Limbo bones. I can't take this, just being here, Perotta."

Brennan dabbed a tear from her eye. This was so unlike her! Perotta looked the sad woman up and down, watching as she trembled from hearing the words that her partner, or was it more? , had just died.  
Perotta leaned forward, much to Brennan's surprise, and gave her a large hug. Brennan clumsily returned the favor, not sure of what was going on, but the sympathy was much needed.

"Thanks, Perotta."

"Look, Temperance, I'm sorry about Booth. I really am, I shouldn't have gotten in the way. I hope that you will get some rest tonight, though.."

"Oh, I won't be up for too much longer. Work helps me relax..."

"Okay then. Good night, Tempe."

"Good night, Peyton."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Teddy, where could she be?" Booth had covered more miles of pacing on tile in twenty minutes than he had on the treadmill in the past month.

"Patience Sarge. Patience. She'll be here." He sounded like a small child. He had asked that at least a hundred times..

"But, when? ITs been what? Two hours?"

"Twenty minutes! Impatient, are we?"

"I'm just anxious."

"And impatient." Teddy tsked at Booth's behavior. Booth began to tap his foot. He kept going to the railing that overlooked the first floor.

"You know, I should call her.." Booth instinctively reached for his pocket. He patted around, feeling only his leg. The asshole who had kidnapped him stole his cellphone!

"Or not. Dumb Jeffersonians phone lines are turned off after midnight. Shit, shit, shit!"

Booth groaned. Then, it was like magic.

The front door opened. An exhausted but beautiful brunette with blue eyes to kill for walked through the door.

_It was her!_

"BONES!"

**XOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX**

Brennan opened the Jeffersonians main door.

It was like a dream. She had thought she heard some talking, but her sleepy brain ignored it completely, Then, as her beloved nickname floated through the air towards her ears, She realised she wasn't alone.

She looked up.

But he was dead? They found the shirt, the blood. He was topless, his nose a bit crooked and bloody around the sides. She didn't care. He was alive!

_It was him!_

He was okay! He was alive!

She saw her opportunity for a second chance, and she wasn't going to miss it, no matter what logic told her.

She loved him, and that was all that mattered.

"BOOTH!"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOX**

She looked up at him when he called to her. She looked confused and sad. She must have realised it was him, because then her entire face lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July. She called back to him. She bolted across the lab to the stairs. He ran down those stairs as fast as he could, and met her in the middle. She threw her arms around his neck and they met in the middle for a deep kiss.

Hiroshima didn't even come close to the explosion of passion that happened when their lips touched. It was surreal.

Brennan let her hands explore his bare neck and back. She felt the old burn marks, and now the new ones. He flinched from the pain, then disregarded it. She touseled his hair, and tried to use as little oxygen as possible. She didn't want to leave the warm haven of his lips.

Booth had his hands on the small of her back. He smiled against her lips.

"Bones?"

Not wanting to break the kiss, Brennan mumbled against his lips.

"Booth?"

"I love you."

She smiled against his mouth, then pulled back to look into those chocolate eyes she had been missing for the past day.

"I love you, too. A lot."

Kiss.

"Glad to hear it, Bones. I love you a lot too."

He smiled his charm smile, which Brennan quickly ended with a kiss.

"So, what happened.." Kiss. "To your nose?" Kiss.

He turned slightly red.

"I.." Kiss. "Ran Into'..." Kiss. "A mirror." Kiss.

She pulled back and started to giggle.

"You _what_?"

Long kiss.

"I ran into a mirror. I thought it was a door."

"Why did you run. You would've gotten there eventually.. That wasn't very rational of you." Classic Bones moment. Booth chuckled.

" I was excited to know I was closer to you." He kissed her again. She smiled, then got stern again.

"Why did you leave the funhouse? Why not stay there?"

"I figured you were here. I didn't hear sirens or anything when I left."

"Oh, well, I'm glad you came here. Its a nice 'Welcome Home' gift."

"Glad you like it Bones." And he kissed her again. And again, And again. The world seemed to stand still.

It was_ magic._

**XOXOXOOXXOXOXOXOXOOXXOOXXO**

Teddy whooped and hollered.

This time, It was real. The passion was there, the fire burning bright.

He felt something inside him heating up, like butterflies in his stomach. He began to glow.

As he floated up, both partners turned to face him. Booth smiled at him.

"I'm happy for you , Sarge. You too, Miss Brennan."

He waved and vanished, exploding into a big ball of light.

Brennan and Booth waved and smiled, still in a close embrace.

"That was Teddy, wasn't it, Booth?"

"Yes it was. Seems like his mission is accomplished."

"I'm happy for him. I wonder if I'll ever be able to see him again.."

"I don't know, Bones."

But both partners heard the wind whisper to them.

"Soon."

They smiled.

**XOXOXOXOXOOXOXXOXOOXXOXOXO**

Brennan woke up the next morning with a Booth in the buff by her side. She smiled at last nights memories, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him to wake him up.

"Hrumph, uh.. Bones! Its early! I didn't get much sleep last night!"

That was very true. They had made love to the sunrise.

It was now noon.

"Booth, its noon. Lets get dressed and get some lunch. I'm hungry!"

"Alright..." Booth grumbled. His stomach followed. "Lets go. I want some pie."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXO**

"Thanks, miss." The waitress giggled at the sight of Booth's charm smile.

Booth hungrily dove into his hamburger, looking more like a famished hyena than a human being. Brennan laughed.

"So, do you know who kidnapped you, Booth?"

"You mean **ADULT**- napped?"

"Sure."

"No earthly idea."

"They had to have known you personally."

"Where did you get that from?"

"They knew you were scared of clowns."

"I know who it is!"

"You do?"

Yeah!"

"Well, who?" Brennan didn't know what was going on in that gut-inspired mind of his.

"Jared."

"Jared? Why him?"

"He was close to Heather, probably had access to all of her supplies, he knew I am terrified of clowns, ,he knew I was dating, well, fake dating, you, and he lives not too far from that funhouse.."

"Does he suck at poetry and riddles?"

"Terrible! Flunked his Writing class in college."

"Jared it is."

"He didn't say he was the black hole, did he?"

"He did. What does that have to do with anything?"

"When we were young, I always wanted to be an agent, and Jared was 'The Black Hole'. My action figures would go missing and would never be seen again. He said what goes in, don't come out. He would make me pay up my allowance and cover up for him when he got in trouble."

"OH, its definitely Jared. But, why nearly kill you?"

"He wants you back. He didn't nearly kill me, either, though. Just frightened me. Just like when we were kids."

"Okay. We have motive, and strong evidence to suggest it was him. Lets arrest him!"

"Easy Bones. I think we should let the other agents figure it out. I want to talk to him later." Booth chuckled.

"Well, invite me along. I want to beat him up for doing this to you! It was irrational!."

"I'll be sure to do that, Miss Rational Bones."

"I have to let the squints know you are okay, though."

Booth looked at her in shock. Did she just say 'squints'?

"Wow, you've smudged off on me!"

"Rubbed off, Bones, rubbed."

"I love you." She said, all stern and serious, unlike last night when she was kissing him senseless.

"Well I love you too, Bones." He smiled.

"No. I'm serious. I can't explain it, but I think I am in love with you. No, that's not enough. I think we should get married, that's about how much I feel that way. Its not something I can put into words.."

"Easy, Bones. Marraige doesn't come after a first date.. It takes time."

"We've known each other for five years. I mean, we've gone out together how many times? And we had sex last night. I'm ready for a commitment."

"Bones. We have to slow down. We have a great thing going. I don't want to spoil it. How about this, If you wait six months, I'll propose. Or, if you get pregnant before that, I'll propose. Deal?"

"Booth, we are going right back to my apartment. Now." She had a look in her eyes that was just so seducing. She really wanted to get married. It was so strange coming from her lips. It was stupid cute. It was weirdly amusing. It was...

_Unlike her._

"Bones, do you really want a child?"

"If it means being with you."

"Just wait. If you really love me, you'll wait."

"Okay. I'll wait." She smiled and leaned across the table to plant a sweet kiss on his lips.

"But six months is so far..." She whined

"I know. But you'll enjoy it more in the end."

"Why not get married now?"

"It'll take me six month's paychecks to pay off the bill for that ring...And start a fund for that wedding."

"I love you." She was all smiles.

"You know, going back to the apartment sounds good right about now."

"Lets go, Booth, I mean, Honey." Cheesy grin.

"Really, Bones? _Really_?." Charm smile.

"Really, Booth. _Really_."

**XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX**

El Fin:)

Did you like the ending?

It was reallllllllyyyyy fluffy. Wow.

REVIEW!

If you had seen a different ending, POST IT! I love to hear what you think.

Stay tuned for the next chap!

True to the end!

-W


End file.
